Exploring the Brain Science of Bias in the Workplace – with Elaine Teo

In our business relationships, most of us don’t understand the cultural factors that affect the way we are perceived and the impressions we make. We’re diving deep today with someone who knows the ins and outs and has much wisdom to share.

Elaine Teo is the founder of Living Potential International. As an Oxford-trained psychologist and philosopher, Elaine is a highly sought after multilingual, intercultural expert, respected for her original thought leadership on diversity and inclusion, gender equity, and mindfulness for professional and personal success. Much of Elaine’s work is inspired by her life experience as a Singaporean-Chinese woman based between the UK, the US, and Singapore, as well as the fact that she’s a full-time mother of two boys and a girl. In this episode, Elaine and I discuss the brain science of bias, or what she calls “the software of the mind.” We discuss how unconscious biases will come into leadership models, language, and styles, and how ambition is viewed differently as a woman, and what we can do about it. 

Success and competition

Despite your best effort, sometimes your achievements are not viewed as a success. Girls in Asian cultures are taught to “play nice.” Women are not allowed to show anger or frustration in the same ways men are. Those forceful, assertive behaviors are encouraged and even championed when they come from men in the workplace.

Women and emotions

On one occasion, Elaine was told by her boss not to be so emotional, but as she looked around at the male leaders in the organization, she saw them being hugely emotional leaders. They were to the point of toxic leadership, with pride, ego, jealousy, and arrogance being displayed on a continual basis. What she wanted to say to her boss was, “How about yourself?” She responded to this situation by evaluating her behavior. She found what was useful in the feedback and discarded the rest, finding ways to positivize the attributes instinctual to women.

The “software of the mind”

We underestimate the cultural factors that are the operating systems of the mind. From an early age, we get cues about how to respond to stimuli around us. Studies show that there is even a genetic connection to culture in our programming and conditioning. Elaine uses the metaphor of an iceberg to explain how we only see a portion of the culture of a person, and we don’t know how to interpret their non-verbal cues.

Two models

Elaine explains the basis of Bennett’s Model of Intercultural Sensitivity in how we go from a sense of absolute self to relative self. As a person grows up, the sense of self diminishes as they develop social intelligence and a sense of being part of larger community groups. We become less egocentric as we mature, but we filter everything through our limited worldview, and we become more evolved when we realize our preference is one of many, with no one view being better or worse. Elaine also relates this principle to Kegan’s model as it relates to the framework of adult development.

Becoming a more efficient leader

Self-transformation is the most evolved sense of self. We have the tools and framework to understand people and help them craft lives that are more fulfilling from a pragmatic view regarding leadership development. Stepping into others’ shoes helps us to flex between the cultural backgrounds of others in much more effective ways. The growth journey starts with humility, meditation, and mindfulness. 

Cultural differences lost in translation

Most cultures have several dichotomies that show two ends of the spectrum. Examples include direct vs. indirect communication, task orientation vs. relationship orientation, individualistic vs. collectivistic societies, low power distance vs. high power distance, and being comfortable with conflict vs. seeking harmony. Countries, as well as people, can line up on different sides of these dichotomies. 

A fascinating world

The problems in intercultural business defy simple solutions. It’s not a black and white prescription that applies across the board, but everything varies from company to company, person to person, and generation to generation. We look for shortcuts, but any time a relationship is involved, there are many nuances to understand. Elaine says to think of it as a framework with which to go into other cultures as an investigative scientist. 

Trust yourself

It’s not always easy to be yourself and own your leadership style. Some women with positions of privilege in leadership may not have experienced the “play nice” mentality, but they aren’t necessarily leading with authenticity. It takes confidence to trust yourself to be yourself.

Hidden struggles

You can’t truly have it all as a woman and a mother without a serious support structure around you. These vary at different levels in other cultures. Women are caught in a bind, and social pressures grow as we are torn between our duties. There is much work to be done in gender equity regarding care for the home and children, still in most cultures thought of as the woman’s primary responsibility. While men are the outliers in childcare, women continue to be the outliers in the boardroom, and we feel like failures when we can’t feel fully present in either place. 

Highlights of this episode:

  • 7:01 – Why women are taught to “play nice”
  • 10:07 – A personal story about men, women, and emotion
  • 15:34 – Why Elaine became passionate about normalization
  • 17:51 – Cultures as “the software of the mind”
  • 27:34 – Milton Bennett’s Model of Intercultural Sensitivity
  • 31:48 – Becoming a more effective leader
  • 34:20 – How to step into others’ points of view
  • 37:00 – Cultural differences that are lost in translation
  • 42:19 – The fascinating world of intercultural business
  • 44:55 – Trusting yourself to be authentic
  • 52:40 – Hidden struggles in being a woman
  • 59:04 – Fem Five

Resources mentioned:

Fem Five:

1. Favorite book to recommend for women?

  • Grit by Angela Duckworth

2. Favorite self-care hack?

  • “I meditate every morning and every evening for 20 minutes each time.”

3. Best piece of advice and who gave it to you?

  • “It’s not specific advice, but from Brene’ Brown’s works, I’ve learned that life is imperfect and we are all works in progress.”

4. One piece of advice you’d give your five years younger self?

  • “Be patient, sweetheart. It will all be revealed to be for the best reason.”

Last Time on The NextFem Podcast

Using Micro-Finance to Have Macro-Influence – with Andree Simon


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