Jenn Burton is a dating coach for successful and empowered women. Jenn reminds us that just because you’re successful doesn’t mean you have everything figured out when it comes to love and relationships. Jenn was a self-confessed dating failure until she orchestrated her own dating turnaround. In this conversation, Jenn and I talk about her dating transformation story, why fun is paramount in dating, her “mantourage” dating model, the mistakes she sees empowered women make when it comes to using online datings sites – and a whole lot more.
Jenn was a self-admitted dating failure.
Jenn didn’t really feel like she had much to offer and as a result, she married the first guy to come along. But it wasn’t fulfilling for either of them and at times got downright ugly. They separated, then divorced, and Jenn once again felt like she’d never find a guy who liked her as much as she liked him. To make things worse, it didn’t seem that men were paying her any attention. That’s when she sought the help of a more experienced woman, began to learn, and finally made a life-changing decision. Soon, at the request of those in her circle of friends who had seen the transformation first-hand, Jenn became what she now calls a “Romantic Fairy Godmother.” You can hear Jenn describe that moment of decision and learn how you can have a better and more fulfilling dating life by dating multiple men at once and being entirely open about it, on this episode of NextFem.
The dating experiment that changed everything.
When Jenn started dating again she did so with a firm commitment to have fun. One of the things that meant for her was that she was not going to exclusively date one man, at least at first. For her, that made all the difference. Looking back she sees it as a time of discovery, a time when she got in touch with who she was as a woman again and began to experience the excitement men and being with them can be. If you’re looking for a new perspective on dating to help you get out of your slump, you need to hear what Jenn has to say on this episode.
Attention amounts to approval. So pay attention to what behaviors you give your attention.
When Jenn and I talked about the attention guys show us as women, we naturally got into talking about some of the negative, stereotypical ways guys can do so. But Jenn pointed out that attention means approval – so a guys’ attention, no matter how inappropriate, means he’s attracted to your beauty as a woman, and that’s an incredible thing. When it comes to discouraging the wrong kind of attention, Jenn turned it around by saying that if attention amounts to approval, then you, the empowered woman in the situation, need to be careful what YOU pay attention to. Hear more of Jenn’s great advice by listening to this episode.
Coupling vulnerability with good boundaries makes you irresistible to men.
Many women have trouble finding the balance in how they should be in a dating relationship. Some are too vulnerable, sharing anything and everything too soon. Others are too rigid, holding every guy at arm’s length, which communicates suspicion and can be intimidating, rather than expressing who they really are as a woman. Jenn says that women who can couple appropriate vulnerability with healthy boundaries become irresistible to men. She’ll explain why that’s true, on this episode.
Episode Highlights
- 2:09 – Jenn’s rocky road from being a dating failure to becoming a dating coach
- 5:09 – Meeting the guy that changed everything, then he disappeared
- 9:00 – The experiment Jenn engaged in to see how she could change dating, and it all shifted
- 12:46 – How an empowered woman can effectively communicate about dating multiple people
- 21:30 – The basis for long-term, committed relationships
- 23:10 – How much of dating is mindset and how much is just getting out of the house?
- 29:50 – Can your standards be too high?
- 37:28 – Dating issues women experience in the age-related stages of life
- 43:10 – Why single moms are some of Jenn’s favorite clients
- 45:21 – The problems with online dating and what women do wrong in online dating?
- 49:10 – Why empowered women need to see dating as an incredible opportunity
Resources Mentioned
- Jenn’s Website
- Jenn on Facebook
- Jenn on Twitter
- Michaela Boehm
1. Favorite book for women?
- She Always Knew How by Charlotte Chandler
2. Favorite self-care hack?
- Write a grateful list about why you’re thankful a guy is not paying attention to you.
3. Best piece of advice and who gave it to you?
- “Stop being a stick in the mud. Go have some fun.” – Advice given to Jenn by her mom.
4. Female CEO or thought leader you’re into right now?
- Amber McCue of NiceOps
5. One piece of advice you’d give your 5 years younger self?
- Stop procrastinating and get more organized because you have lots of good stuff coming up.
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Last Time on The NextFem Podcast
- How Hypnotherapy Works to Release Joy and Bring About Inner Healing – with Rene Brent
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