New Erotica for Feminists

Feminism and erotica – do I have your attention? Today’s show is a crazy and energetic conversation with three of the four authors of a new book that’s giving me new life!

Caitlin Kunkel, Brooke Preston, Fiona Taylor, and Carrie Wittmer are satirists and comedy writers whose work has been featured in The New Yorker and McSweeney’s. They believe that modern women need a new type of erotica to get them all hot and bothered, so they set about writing a wickedly funny, satirical book that turns the tables on cliched erotica. In New Erotica for Feminists: Satirical Fantasies of Love, Lust, and Equal Pay, Ed Sheeran releases a new single called, I’m in Love With Your Body of Work, or your boss calls you into his office and closes the door to promote you again, and again, and again. In this episode, the authors of New Erotica for Feminists discuss the magic of collaborating as a group of four to publish their book in eight months, and what exactly this new feminism is about, and how erotica and feminism go hand in hand, despite seeming on the surface to belong to completely separate universes. For every hot and bothered feminist out there, this book is for you!

The Belladonna and the book

The four authors write for their website, the Belladonna, which provides comedy and satire written by women and non-binary authors, for everyone. The four were discussing monetization and sponsorship one day and made jokes about “porn for Brooklyn women.” They turned it into funny jokes about feminist issues. The vignette format of stories felt natural, so they created twelve of them for the original essay, which went viral.

Meeting and collaborating

The women all have full-time jobs in writing of some sort. They met up online, with only Brooke and Caitlin having known each other previously. The group of four met and joined forces to form the Belladonna website and started collaborating on their writing to provide a place for women to make themselves known in comedy and satire. For so long in comedy, women have gotten the short end of the stick, but now many are taking comedy classes online and finding ways to express themselves. Women are outraged and have a lot to say through satire and the internet offers many opportunities to say it! You’ll love the double meaning of the name “Belladonna,” as it means “beautiful woman” in Italian, but also is a plant often used in poison, especially by women on their husbands.  

Helping produce stronger writers

Writers on the Belladonna write with different voices on a variety of topics, not fitting into any mold or form. The four are devoted to providing feedback and constructive criticism for the pieces they reject because they want people to understand why it didn’t work and for them to keep writing satire. The Daily Itinerary feature gives people a chance to write about a certain point of view and get their foot in the door. They are committed to providing the site they were looking for early in their careers and to help people become stronger writers.

Walking the line

It’s an art form to walk the line between satire, anger, and other emotions, but even in the darkest of times, people still need to laugh, because laughter makes each day easier to endure. The book they wrote is great for creating stimulating conversations, even though the core audience is young females, but the book isn’t solely for women. A major theme of the book is that many people misunderstand the term “feminist” and don’t know the history of the movement. The four authors are striving to change that.

Claim it and own it

The four call the 2016 election a kind of wake up call as to how ingrained we are in a patriarchal society. Bias against women still surrounds us on every side. They are claiming their success and using it to open up doors for other women, knowing that they should appreciate their advantages, and be proud and own their success. They share what they are teaching their own daughters, that success and accomplishment should be celebrated and not contained.

Feminists and sex

Many people assume that feminists are angry women who hate sex and hate men – which isn’t true. Sex should be just as much about the woman’s needs, wants, and desires as the male partner’s. Unfortunately, much of what is accepted is not about the woman’s pleasure or consent. Sex education in our country teaches girls about the negatives of sex and not the good that comes from it. Through the book, the four women are seeking to reclaim some power and control for women. Open dialogue is important, and birth control should be a shared concern for men and women.

Handling the trolls

With any satirical writings, websites, or TV shows, you can expect the trolls to come calling. The women share how they handle this problem personally and how they coach their Belladonna writers to deal with the trolls. Most trolls are harmless, but there is often hate mail and even death threats to some, so it’s best to be prepared.

Highlights of this episode:

• :17 – Being inspired to write on this topic
• 2:22 – How the four joined forces
• 4:02 – How the collaboration happened
• 5:51 – How things are changing for women
• 7:59 – “Belladonna” and its double meaning
• 8:42 – Some favorite articles on the site
• 13:45 – How they balance work and family
• 15:58 – Why they are grateful for Michelle Obama’s words
• 17:05 – Walking the line between emotions
• 22:18 – Who the book is for
• 25:05 – How “feminist” is defined
• 28:48 – What women want
• 35:13 – Confidence in girls
• 38:15 – What sex and erotica mean to a feminist
• 44:54 – How they handle being trolled
• 46:59 – Fem Five

Resources Mentioned:

• New Erotica for Feminists: Satirical Fantasies of Love, Lust, and Equal Pay
• New Erotica for Feminists on Instagram
• Find the authors on Twitter:  @Bigu, @KunkelTron, @FionaLeslie, @carriesnotscary, @The_Belladonnas, @NEFF
• The Little Book of Feminist Saints by Julia Pierpont

The Fem Five:

1. Favorite book to recommend for women?

• The Little Book of Feminist Saints by Julia Pierpont

2. Favorite self-care hack?

• From Brooke: “The joy of doing things alone.”

3. Best piece of advice and who gave it to you?

• From Fiona: “When I was training for a marathon, someone told me to ‘Just keep running’. It applies to many other aspects of life for women.”

4. Female CEO or thought leader you’re into right now?

• Jeni Britton Bauer of Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams

5. One piece of advice you’d give your five years younger self?

• From Caitlin: “Even if you don’t know exactly what the next step is, you can still make forward momentum.”

Last Time on The NextFem Podcast

Forget Work-Life Balance to Focus on Work-Life Satisfaction – with Tevis Trower

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