Helping Others Achieve Their Dreams Before You Achieve Yours – with Carmela Rea

What is it that makes some people extra resilient, willing to persevere through even the toughest obstacles, laughing in the face of the fear that stops others in their tracks? There are many words to describe this quality, but more importantly, it’s easy to see the results, because the people who overcome are the ones that make a difference. They take what life throws at them and turn it into something good in the world. Today’s guest, Carmela Rea, has an amazing story of how she is helping countless families achieve their dream, all while her biggest dream is about to be a reality. 

Carmela Rea is the CEO and founder of EggFund, a fin-tech company that helps people with infertility afford their dream of having a family. Prior to launching her startup, EggFund, Carmela was co-president of the world’s largest art and culture media group, reaching over two million people monthly. She is a true pioneer in bringing the art world online and generating record revenue and, she’s one of my very favorite people in NYC. In this episode, Carmela shares about her biggest influencers and mentors growing up, including her Italian American family and an elderly Jewish neighbor names Sylvia. She also talks about how her infertility was the catalyst for founding her startup and her philosophy on entrepreneurship, which is, that as entrepreneurs, we must solve real problems and not just create a business in search of a problem to solve. 

A clash of cultures

Carmela’s mother’s sister was the first in the family to come from Italy, near Naples, and settle in NYC. It wasn’t long before more family members, including Carmela’s mother, followed the dream to find a better life in America. They were able to find good jobs in the booming garment industry in NYC. When Carmela’s mother returned on a vacation to Italy, she met her husband, married him, and dragged him back to NYC with her. He was a skilled garment worker who spent his 35+ year career working with designers and models, and he just recently retired from the work that he loved. Carmela was born and raised in Brooklyn to these two Italian immigrants who didn’t even speak English. Since her parents couldn’t help her with her homework, Carmela learned very early to seek out mentors. 

The woman who made a difference

Growing up with parents who didn’t speak English well gave Carmela a keen awareness for accents, so she developed a knack for picking up others’ accents. In fact, she purposefully sought to soften the heavy Brooklyn accent of her childhood because she didn’t think it made her sound educated. About this same time, there was an elderly Jewish neighbor, Sylvia, who helped Carmela with math, English, and social studies homework. Sylvia never acted as if she was too busy to help Carmela, and her lessons went far beyond the homework page. Carmela remembers her teaching about Hitler and WWII, having firsthand experience with the Holocaust horrors. She taught Carmela to be accepting of others, open-minded, studious, and to have empathy. Sylvia’s actions went far to change young Carmela’s life. Fittingly, Sylvia’s daughter became active in civil rights issues, especially the busing issues of the 1970’s. 

The reluctant rebel

Carmela learned very young to never give in to the bully. She didn’t mean to upset the status quo, but she became the reluctant rebel who had to stay true to how she felt. Not following the conventional path brought confusion to the family that loved her most, and bucking people’s expectations became the norm for Carmela. Even her parents couldn’t understand why she would leave the secure world of finance to pursue a degree and career in art.  Learning not to listen to those who don’t back her dreams is a lesson that prepared Carmela for the next few pivotal steps in her career. 

The big obstacle

Learning to listen to her internal moral compass and instincts and never being afraid to veer off the beaten path became hallmarks of Carmela’s life and career. She had a huge role in a global art company about the time she began trying to get pregnant. After several years, three miscarriages, and an unsuccessful IVF, she found a doctor who was willing to help her even though she was already in her 40’s. He assured her that all he needed was “one good egg.” The infertility experience opened Carmela’s eyes to the stigma attached to this “taboo” topic.

The big three

Carmela Rea shares the biggest challenges she has faced and the lessons she has learned about infertility. #1 -There are no guarantees. As you get older, you can follow all instructions and do everything right and still not come out of it with a baby. The TV shows only portray the success stories, which puts a lot of pressure on women. We will cling to the slightest wisp of hope and believe it will happen for us. #2 – There is no schedule or timeline for success. The clinic will absolutely let you go as long and as far as you want. #3 – There is no budget for infertility. No one tells you in advance how much this may cost you.  It’s truly like going down the rabbit hole. 

Getting off the crazy train

Carmela’s husband noticed the physical and emotional stress in her life with the struggle to have a baby. They made the decision to stop, take a step back, and think about what they wanted. They surrendered and gave up the dream. That’s when they came up with the idea for EggFund, which is based on what Carmela Rea wished someone had done for her in the beginning. She wanted to eliminate the inhumane roller coaster experience for other women and families. With one in eight Americans struggling with infertility to have a family, EggFund is a fertility financing program that takes away the financial burden and reduces the stress of the process. The mission of this “baby-surance” fund is to get people planning early for what is ahead.

Gender bias in lending

You might wonder why infertility patients would need a financing program like EggFund, but what you may not know is that fertility loans are considered subprime, which burdens borrowers with astronomical interest rates. The system is biased against women, who also carry a majority of the student loans in the US. Banks are happy to loan you money for a car but don’t make it so easy to get a fertility loan. Women are the victims of lending companies who hedge on the probability that the treatment won’t be successful and the desperate borrower will be left with a huge debt and no baby. Carmela Rea explains where the huge disconnect occurs when public good and the lending product don’t match up.

What’s next?

There are big plans for EggFund in the future with many new opportunities in the works for supporting women through the infertility journey. Carmela Rea is working on launching a new insurance product and securing bank lending partners to help find the perfect match for clients. The biggest and most exciting changes are happening to Carmela personally, as her “miracle baby girl” is due at the end of July, and yes, she’s 45-½ years old! This is a natural, spontaneous pregnancy that Carmela believes is due to the good karma from EggFund and the help it gives to others in the basic right to have a family. Congratulations, Carmela!

Highlights of the Episode:

• 5:18 – How her immigrant parents worked in NYC’s garment industry
• 8:00 – Sylvia, the woman who changed Carmela’s life
• 16:05 – Good people and “the Mom-inator”
• 18:26 – The reluctant rebel
• 20:53 – From finance to art
• 23:42 – Becoming a startup founder in a marginalized area
• 25:56 – Hearing a lot of NO’s in the infertility process
• 29:44 – Challenges in the infertility journey
• 37:30 – Getting off the crazy train
• 38:30 – EggFund: how it helps and what it provides
• 46:10 – Student loans, subprime lending, and financing fertility
• 49:32 – What’s next for EggFund and Carmela Rea?
• 55:20 – Fem Five

Resources Mentioned:

• www.myeggfund.com
• Find Carmela on Twitter @egg_fund

The Fem Five:

1. Favorite book for women?

• The Art of the Start: The Time-Tested, Battle-Hardened Guide for Anyone Starting Anything by Guy Kawasaki

2. Favorite self-care hack?

• “Getting rest and knowing when and how to supplement my sleep.”

3. Best piece of advice and who gave it to you?

• “From a friend’s father, ‘Don’t take a headache; make a headache’.”

4. Female thought leader or CEO you’re into right now?

• Carley Roney of XO Group

5. One piece of advice you’d give your five years younger self?

• “Plan for your future family. Don’t leave it to fate.”

Last Time on The NextFem Podcast

Don’t Let Negative Energy Block Your Path to Purpose – with Carolin Hauser-Carson 

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