Sometimes Boring is Better

Being interesting is overrated.

Especially at family functions.

Have you ever noticed how dinner table conversation at the holidays always centers around the most “interesting” topics?

Our family have our best interest at heart. But they often express this love in the form of a thinly veiled inquisition.

They say: “Hey Pumpkin, are you still seeing that Ron fellow? He was interesting.”

You hear: “Ron is a boring loser, I sure hope you’re not wasting your time with him. Oh, you’re still seeing him? I just never thought you’d be one to settle. Poor you.”

They say: “Any new prospects? Interesting updates in your love life?”

You hear: “The saga continues! Episode 247! Wherein our sad, aging starlet tragically continues to have no prospects, goes on several pathetic dates and increasingly resigns herself to a fate of eternal loneliness while persuading herself and loved ones it’s what she wants.”

As if this wasn’t sufficient, what happens next is you get The Advice Story or worse yet awkward silence.

You see in my business, working with hundreds of successful, single women, I hear stories like this all the time.

Maybe you have one just like it.

The real question is, WHY is this happening to you?

How can someone who is as beautiful, generous, kind, successful and driven as you have all of her superpowers deactivated in her love life?!

At this point you might hear your inner voice challenging you: Do all those nice words apply to me? If I’ve struggled this much to find the right guy, can any of that really be true?

The answer is: YES, ABSOLUTELY.

In fact, strong, smart, successful women are usually strong, smart and successful for the EXACT same reasons that they are single!

You see, these superpowers you possess originated from defining experiences in your childhood.

Those experiences taught you that it’s better to be independent. Don’t depend on anyone else! You can take care of yourself!

In fact, this is how ALL strengths emerge. It’s basic developmental psychology.

What’s even more startling are the implications: As our society continues to place more value on women’s leadership and celebrate our professional successes, it is INEVITABLE that more and more women will find themselves single.

So you see, your traumatic family holiday experiences are not your fault. And neither are your bad fortunes in love.

Being an attraction magnet and a relationship rockstar are NOT complicated. They’re just not what you learned.

So I’m going to share with you one simple lesson that can turn the tide NOW if you take it to heart.

It’s going to sound deceptively simple but believe me, this idea has huge implications.

Ready?

Here goes:

In order to love you, men need to be able to contribute to you.

Read that again.

Got it?

Good.

See, most powerhouse women tend to behave opposite to this principle.

They put off a vibe that they don’t care what anyone thinks of them.

They keep their social calendars full, or at least appearing that way.

They never ask for anything, advice especially! In fact usually they’re the ones giving the advice.

They act strong and indifferent, even when they’re not getting what they need from a man.

And these are just a few examples.

Thanksgiving and holiday time are just around the bend.

Imagine if THIS YEAR you could show up feeling confident and genuinely excited about your love life.

Imagine if you could share real stories about the well-educated, successful, chivalrous man you were dating.

Wouldn’t it be nice to quiet the doubters? (Not to mention the doubts in your mind!)

I can teach you how to find true love, even if you think you’re better alone. Join my online Love Bootcamp, a completely free 14-day course that’ll teach you how to attract the right man by being yourself — without any games or gimmicks. Join the Love Bootcamp here — get it while it’s still free.

P.S. Let’s connect on Facebook?

SPREAD THE LOVE!

All of us crave connection. Whose day can YOU brighten by sharing this post? Don’t be shy!
[shareaholic app=”share_buttons” id=”19166857″]

A FEW WAYS I CAN HELP

Single? Check out my free new e-book, “9 Mistakes That Kill Your Love Life and Keep You Single”. Change just one of these to see an improvement in your love life! Download the book here.

Seeing someone? Want a glimpse into the future? Check out my free quiz, “Keep Him or Leave Him: Decide Now If He’s Worth It”. Take the quiz now.

Get the best free dating course online. My Love Bootcamp for Alpha Women is available for a limited time for free. Register for this online class now.

New here? Join my free newsletter here.

ABOUT NEXTFEM

Hi, I’m Tara Padua, founder of NextFem. I help high-powered women master their relationships.

As a professional executive coach since 2003, I’ve accrued more than 7,000 client-coaching hours working with 400+ female leaders at organizations like Condé Nast, Cartier, Deutsche Bank, Diesel, Louis Vuitton, Siemens and many, many more.

Healthy relationships are the foundation of a life that works, and my life experiences have fueled my mission to help women get the love they deserve.