I used to joke that I have PTSD from Thanksgiving.
At its core, Thanksgiving is a time to express gratitude and celebrate the abundance in our lives.
Yet often the reality is one of bickering, quiet feuds, and let’s not forget, using pie and wine for some good old fashioned numbing out.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that all families are crazy, and that the only questions are how much and what kind.
Puerto Rican families like mine tend to be LOUD crazy. (One Thanksgiving I remember my mom telling 2 of her 8 sisters that they aren’t Puerto Rican because they were born in America. You can imagine the “friendly” debate that ensued…)
Then there are families that try to keep it on lock down, peaches and cream. “Mary would you please pass the gravy?… How about that football game Roger?…” Until WHAM. Blowup.
In short, family is hard. Loving people means that things will get messy. Because to love is to be vulnerable; to let others affect you.
So in lieu of any self-soothing and white-knuckling you might be contemplating today, consider embracing the crazy — in you and in others — and don’t take it personally. We’re all doing the best we can with the tools we’ve been given.
Here’s to embracing the love… and the crazy.
P.S. What’s your family’s special blend of crazy and how will you embrace it? Share with us in the comments.
P.P.S. I’m announcing some big news tomorrow. Keep an eye out :)
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ABOUT NEXTFEM
Hi, I’m Tara Padua, founder of NextFem. I help high-powered women master their relationships.
As a professional executive coach since 2003, I’ve accrued more than 7,000 client-coaching hours working with 400+ female leaders at organizations like Condé Nast, Cartier, Deutsche Bank, Diesel, Louis Vuitton, Siemens and many, many more.
Healthy relationships are the foundation of a life that works, and my life experiences have fueled my mission to help women get the love they deserve.
2 Comments
Glen
November 26, 2015Hi Tara –
Great post. I always go out of my way to “take care” of stuff at the holidays but wind up not feeling taken care of… Not enough reciprocity. By the time the meal is done I’m usually not feeling great. Today I’m going to embrace that my family are fine the way they are and that it’s on me to take care of me!
Best,
Glen
Joie
November 27, 2015Special brand of crazy? While cooking, we, of course, ended up rushing (friends scheduled at 2pm, still preparing the bread and stuffing at 1:45). Rushing for me often = snapping orders, scolding, aaah, not very loving. My cohort slows down in response.
Embrace? “let’s start over! grace emerges and somehow being rushed becomes okay (while somehow it definitely was not 3 minutes before!). We finish food preps and magically enjoy ourselves, each other, and the cooking.
“Start overs” are a Godsend!